Parent as a Coach or Teacher
What is your role as a teacher or coach to your children?
Show in detail on how you would like them to behave. Have them practice the behaviour. Provide them ample encouragement along with constructive criticism.
If possible, set aside time on a regular basis to do something fun with your children.
Teach and show them what they should do. Rather than tell them what not to do.
Use praise when they do something well. Say, “I like how you Trisha when you brush your teeth in the morning.” Be specific and to the point.
Do Help your child learn to express how he feels. You may Say: “You seem frustrated.” “How are you feeling?” “Are you up set?” “You look like you are angry about that incident.” “It’s O.K. to feel that way.”
Use a soft, confident tone of voice to redirect them when they are upset.
Be a good listener: Use good eye contact. Get down to the level of smaller children. Don’t interrupt when they speak. Ask open ended questions rather than closed ended questions. Closed ended questions are those that can be answered with a yes or no. Repeat back to them what you heard.
Look for gradual changes in behaviour. Praise behaviour that is coming closer to the desired goal and Don’t expect too much.
Develop a nonverbal sign (gesture) that your children will recognise as a signal that they are being inappropriate and need to change their behaviour. This helps them to respond to your instructions without getting upset.